Bless His Name

I feel like just need to write a few things down.  I was talking to a friend sister friend tonight about the timeline from Wednesday to today and I was blown away by how evident God's grace and tender-loving care is so clear.  These are raw ramblings and perhaps most clear and meaningful to me... I am choosing to share them with you, because His name is worthy of our praise and thanksgiving.  And I hope you will bless him with me.

The week before Wednesday March 20th~I knew Laurel's spells were getting worse and that she was struggling more to recover when she was upset.  During this week sometime, I tried to call and get Laurel's cardiologist appointment changed, but the schedule was booked.
BLESS HIS NAME!

Wednesday March 20th~
6:30am~Milli and I went to workout together.  I was getting my cardio on and tears were streaming down my face.  I was thinking about the day approaching when my baby would have surgery and my heart was grieving.  I confessed to Milli on the way home my fears about that day and she encouraged my heart. God was preparing my heart and emotions.

10am~I got to take Violet, Caroline, and my little brother Austin to the play Frog and Toad at the Derby Dinner Playhouse.  We had a precious time together.  We got to make a special memory before I would be away from them for a while.
Also, Clif took Laurel to her cardiologist appointment.  Where she got very mad during the exam and they were able to access how serious things were getting.  If I had been there, I would have been nursing her during the exam... and she would have been peaceful.  So this was a huge blessing.
Joan was able to come straight to our house and pick up our big girls.  Huge blessing!
All my sisters sprung into action... caring for all the details and helping us to have everything we needed.

The care we have received at Kosair has been unbelievable.  Every nurse, doctor, and staff person has been so kind, professional, and competent.  Praise God.
BLESS HIS NAME!

Thursday March 21st~ we met the surgeon, Dr. Mascio for the first time.  I didn't really have any questions for him about the procedure.  But I was glad to just be in his presence and see how he felt.  He felt confident, competent, like someone who had a true gift... and he made eye contact with me, held my eyes with his for a few seconds helping me know that he understood.  My fears, my love, the weight of this.

Thursday I had a sister-nurse!  A fellow believer who cared for my baby so sweetly and really blessed me.  Thursday night our nurse Jennifer walked with us through, to date, the hardest night of our lives.  She was amazing.  I praise God for the gifts he has given these women and the hearts to use their gifts to care for these sweet children in critical conditions.
BLESS HIS NAME!!

Friday March 22nd~ They were able to give Laurel a medicine that let her rest and she had less and less fits.  We were loved well by listening ears who provided nourishment to our bodies and souls being with us.
Dinnertime~we met a brother who had walked this path.  He shared with us, cheered us on, blessed our hearts.
BLESS HIS NAME!!

Saturday March 23rd~ 
The most precious hour we had with Laurel before surgery when she smiled and looked at us.  Oh... my heart.  I can't wait to see my girls big eyes look at me again!
That I got wrapped up in a giant hug from a sister who brought us breakfast and coffee. That Clif said, it felt like Thanksgiving while we were waiting during the surgery.  We were surrounded my friends and family.
That the surgery was successful!
BLESS HIS NAME!!

We went home and in the mail was a note from a true brother.  Written on Monday. Mailed on Tuesday.  That encouraged us to hold fast, said he was praying for Laurel and felt impressed of the Lord to send us a card and some cash.  Provision.  Material yes.  But more importantly in the knowing our God moves His people to care for each other.  He is real.  He is "on the move".
That we got to see Milli and Andrew on their wedding day!!!  The timing was perfect!  What a blessing that was to our hearts!
And then... we came back to the hospital and things were so scary and my heart was faint and weak...  and in moments pastors and brothers and sisters were with us.  And I cried and sobbed and my sister grabbed me and put her lips to my ear and told me she would take me outta here if she could, she told me the things that were deep in her heart, things that God had given her for me and she told me I was gonna make it.  And my other sister took me home with her, put me to bed, and I slept.  And Clif was not alone here as he was brave and courageous and slept beside our baby.  And it was good sleep and my heart rested.
But it was a rocky night for Laurel, and the nurses and doctors were using their gifts to care for our daughter and God was gracious and she was still beeping the next morning!
BLESS HIS NAME!!!

Sunday March 24th~
i woke up easy.  I felt that one kinda Peace.  Had a yummy, hearty breakfast.  I somehow ended up without shoes... and my brother gave me the slippers right off his feet to get me to where I needed to go.  :)
After a challenging night the surgeon was able to give me a word my heart could hold... and find hope in for the day.
I was able to go home and see my big girls off to their big adventure to Wisconsin to be with Aunt, Uncle, and cousins for a bit!  A place I feel confident that will be safe, loved, and nurtured.  The vehicle to them was a big black truck.  The driver was a gentle hearted, wise brother.  In the passenger seat, pure joy.  A most fun loving soul who I knew would truly take pleasure in being with my flowers.  Is this not provision?

Dad has been here to help us manuever and tonight specifically to take Clif out to dinner and get him out of this hospital.

The way God directed my heart today... to stay focused on my role.  As my baby's mother.  Feeding her (pumping milk for her every three hours), being with her, saying loving words to her, pointing her to Jesus by modeling worship and obedience to Him.  And as well, to let amazement replace my fear of all this very intimidating medical business.
BLESS HIS NAME!!!

And every day... every moment of this journey I have been supported through friends and family through text messaging, face book, and phone calls.  I have cried out in times of fear and blessing.  You guys have wept with me and rejoiced with me.  My husband.   A steady force who reminds me how to breathe, how to trust God, how to smile, how to love.
BLESS HIS NAME!!!