Is Hurting Well a thing?
Circa 2012
When I consider these questions I was asking in 2012 I am filled with gratitude and a deep sense of being with God. Certainl
You know how we've often talked about or heard sermons or read books about how to suffer well... The scriptures make clear we will suffer trials and tribulations in this life... as we journey through this unredeemed world. When I think of suffering I think of illness, or loss of a loved one, or very poor possibly unexpected circumstances. I think of tragedy... Even in this last week the CT school shootings, those parents and families, that community, suffering. I think of a friend who lost her baby at almost 36 weeks pregnant. Still born. I think of my friend who has chrones disease and barfs his guts up usually on a weekly basis. I guess, when I think of suffering I think of something that is inflicted upon a person. Something you didn't bargain for and truly cannot control. And so, we learn to "suffer well"... to accept with joy our path. And this is beautiful.
I've been wondering lately how to hurt well. Hurt seems different than suffering. Hurt, to me, is tied to relationships. The other words that surround what it means to hurt might be wounded, pained, offended. As I've been thinking through this question, I've tried to consider what happens when we get hurt. What reactions or responses typically happen in our hearts and emotions. I've been considering, and trying to wrestle my heart into submission to His ways. How has he called me to act when hurt as his daughter. Questions come to mind like what does it mean to forgive? What does radical love and mercy and grace look like? What do these things look like over a lifetime or for the long haul of hurt filled relationships? With believers? With unbelievers? And how about when everybody in the family is deeply hurt? How do you respect the hurt of others while still acknowledging your own? Do you need to acknowledge it? How do you deal with hurt that seems to come up over and over? Or what about when the other people involved or inflicting the hurt are unresponsive? How do you position your heart for healing? Are forgiveness and healing the same thing? And how about that deep kind of hurt, abandonment, or betrayal... the kind that is usually inflicted by a person who one is actually wired to need and depend on? The kind that makes impressions on who we become as individuals?
I've been coming to terms with the fact this year, that I am a deeply wounded and hurt soul. I've never necessarily noticed that before. I always thought of myself as pretty strong. Confident. In touch with my heart. A person with a fairly long fuse and tolerance for conflict and emotional upheaval. I've always been the type to work through problems as opposed to pretending they don't exist, or circumventing what is true and real to get to a socially favorable answer. But this year has been different. Maybe it's just a vulnerable time in life for me as a young mother. A woman who has been with child for the majority of this year. But I have a feeling, though the season lends itself to such tension, that I am meant to learn something here... I am convinced that God is calling me and insisting that I learn how to hurt well.
