Brave

An interesting fact about me... I usually adopt 1-4 songs for the year, and play them over and over and over.  It is just one of the things that drives Clifton a little crazy.  He has a constant flow of new music and old music and lots of different music. On special occasions and roadtrips I will play all my songs!   Some years it has been Clif or my sister Maggie who introduced me to my song for the year.  Other times it's just been a random song I've heard that spoke to me!  I think my 2015 song was Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys.  This year my song has been Brave by Sara Bareillis.

2016 definitely required some brave-ness.  I found myself singing these words to myself and also to others throughout the year.  My girls know all the words by heart!  I have always been regarded as a brave or strong person, as far as I have ever heard.  This year I feel like I really had many opportunities to choose to run away, be quiet and not speak up, and to accept what is instead of pressing for what would be more true, more loving and more beautiful.   So these words were often like a coach talking to me in the locker room!  "Say what you gotta say.  Honesty.  We've all been stared down by an enemy, fallen for fear, and want to disappear”... the way forward is not to be quiet, withdraw, and hide.  “I want to see you be brave"

I want to see myself be brave.

It may or may not have been the only book I read from cover to cover... but I read Brene Brown's Daring Greatly this year.  So, the challenge and invitation to be brave was not characterized by fierce-ness or carelessness.  It doesn't mean dominate life.  It's not brave for battle, but brave for honesty.  Not a harsh honesty but a thoughtful, tender honesty.  Brave enough to be in touch with what my deepest desires are, the ones my Creator made me with, brave enough to say them and not give up on them.  Brave to step out into the arena of relationships without battle gear and positions and masks to hide me, but just as I am. Brave enough to stand up for the underdog.  Brave enough to let go.  Brave to witness the lives of others without turning away at what is painful or disagreeable.  Brave enough to experience joy and strong love.  Brave enough to make space for those I love to be human, and say what they need to say.

This brave that has been worked into the fabric of my soul this past year is a mix of courage and vulnerability.  A call to move toward others and the world from a place that is grounded and clear in a love and a gospel that is unshakable.  From a place of worthiness.  Worthy because I'm loved by a Father who is God Almighty, who made a way for me, in my unworthiness to sit at his table.  Jesus.

I am humbled at how loved I am and how good my God is.  As we follow him, he makes us brave.