Week 1: Welcome, Goals, Guidelines, and Expectations

Small Group Directive 

• A major factor in our betrayal recovery group is your small group experience.  We are hopeful that you will find the journey with a few others who desire to learn, grow, heal, and recover to be supportive and rewarding. 

• Entering a small group can be a daunting experience. We recognize that. At NO time should you feel pressure to share anything about your journey that you do not want to share. That being said, we do pray that you will find your group to be a place where you can be honest about what you have lived.

• There are a couple of ‘rules’ that cannot be broken in your group. 

• First, everything that is said is strictly confidential. Do not tell anyone outside the group what was shared in the group without permission from the one who shared it. 

• Second, do not put pressure on any group member to share more than he or she wants to share. Your curiosity may want more information, but the Spirit of God does not need it. 

• Third, do not try to ‘fix’ other group members. The small group experience is one of ‘discovery’ not ‘directives’. We will trust that the Spirit of God is at work in each other and will bring about the change that is honoring to our heavenly Father.

Please read and sign this Memo of Understanding, indicating that you have read and understand the purpose and parameters of our group and the moral and ethical obligations of the group facilitators.

I understand that every attempt will be made to guard my anonymity and confidentiality in this group, but that anonymity and confidentiality cannot be absolutely guaranteed in a group setting.

• I realize that the group facilitator cannot control the actions of others in the group.

• I realize that confidentiality is sometimes broken accidentally and without malice.

• I understand that I am allowed to share any of my personal experiences with others outside the group, however, I also understand that disclosing any information about others in the group with anyone outside the group is strictly prohibited. I understand that this type of behavior, whether intentional or unintentional, may result in termination of my group participation.

  I understand that the group facilitator is morally and ethically obligated to discuss with me any of the following behaviors, and that this may lead to breaking of confidentiality and/or possibly intervention:

I communicate anything that may be interpreted as a threat to self-inflict physical harm. I communicate an intention to harm another person.

I exhibit an impaired mental state.

I reveal that I have perpetrated an act of child abuse and/or child molestation or have expressed the intent to commit such an act.

I reveal that I have perpetrated or am considering an abusive act toward the elderly and/or disabled.

I have been advised that the consequences for communicating the above types of information may include reports proper authorities: the police, suicide units, or children’s protective agencies, as well as to any potential victims.

I understand that this is a Christ-centered group that integrates recovery tools with the Bible and prayer, and that all members may not be of my particular church background. I realize that the Bible may be discussed more (or less) than I would like it to be.

I understand that this is a support group and not a therapy group and that the group facilitator is qualified by “life experience” and not by professional training as a therapist or counselor. The group facilitator’s role in this group is to create a climate where healing may occur, to support my personal work toward recovery, and to share their own experience, strength, and hope.

Smile.  Lift your eyebrows.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Smile.  Soften your face, lift your shoulders up to your ears, squeeze them… breathe in, breathe out.  Open body, hands and heart to receive God’s word.

alm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

10 Things to Do and Not Do in the Aftermath of Betrayal by Michelle Mays